FWD: What does it mean to be British?

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and……

Only in Britain …

• … can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance
• … do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front
• … do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
• … do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
• … do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
• … do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
• … are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION…

• 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
• 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
• 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
• 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
• 1 9 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
• British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
• 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
• 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
• A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
• 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.

and finally………

• In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

IF YOUR’E PROUD TO BE BRITISH ..PHONE THE QUEEN YA DIVVY!